scattered hopes...

walls caving in,
and i can hardly breathe...

today was horrible.
nothing seemed to go as planned...
i started my day early thinking that
the early bird would catch the worm...
unfortunately it was meer wishful thinking.
xianli, lipei and i went to meet up with jenny,
who, btw is in charge of the apartments...
before getting to talk to her, both of them left,
as they have classes,
leaving me to do all the negotiating...
which i'm actually fine with it.
however our plans falled thru...
it seems ARROW on SWANSTON takes no
resposibilities in finding us a new house mate.
they could only help by providing us contacts
to possible tenants... argh!!!
i had to made 3 phone calls, hoping one of
them would move in.
desperate, stress, worn out....
one of them managed to come for a visit.
he was nice, and he'll contact me by the end of this week.
i hope it's good news for the 3 of us...
we have by the 23rd of march to find a new house mate...
if not....
desperate, stress, worn out...

and if things could not get any worse,
my phone line is still not up.
technician was missing in action,
and the maintainace guy could do nothing about it.
angry, disappointed, worn out...
several phone calls were made in intervals...
hoping, just hoping the technician would appear...
but i was left unattended...
by 6pm, i made my final phone call.
verdict: sorry, but we are not sure when the
technician would be available... possibly tomorrow...
furious, crashed, worn out...

the day seemed extremely long...
time seemed to have come to a stop...
why isnt it moving?!
dun stop! not at a time like this...
i lay on my bed as i couldnt take in everything around me...
i can't believe i have 1 more year to go...
and to think that school's only starting tomorrow....
argh... spare me...
but with all that, i can only confine it to myself...
is anyone even hearing wat i'm saying?
lonely, restless, worn out...

wake up to a better day tomorrow?
i wish....

heavenly St. Jeromes

heavenly place

::pic of the interior of St. Jeromes::
in the heart of the city,
along a narrow, dodgy, shabby lane with walls
painted with glorious beautiful spray paint art,
and the path littered with rubblish and dirt,
leading towards a worn down place i call St. Jeromes.
this place attracts not because of it's high
cost instilations, but rather, quite the opposite.
it's low cost interior includes seats made of
milk crates and furniture that were probably
gotten from the salvation army.
and with that, all coffees are charged at
an unbeatable price of $2 and they make
the best toast! great music in the background
as you sip your well-made coffee.
i love St. Jeromes, our "yum char" place.
it's the coolest place, ever!
i missed this place when i was back home...
did i mention the unisex toilets?


::pic of the ceiling in St. Jeromes::


::pic of the bar in St. Jeromes with the
extremely gorgeous waiter::


::mocha coffee and toast::


::graffiti on the way to St. Jeromes.
i love this one!::


::graffiti on the way to St. Jeromes::


::graffiti on the way to St. Jeromes::



school's just around the corner,
and that's the whole reason i'm here in melbourne.
but i'm scared. i have this anxious feeling and i
cant seem to understand why i'm feeling that way.
i hope i do well this year. i really hope i do!
i wana do as well as i did last year, if not better.
i wana prove my worth.
i wana show everyone that i'm good in wat i do.
if i cant even do that, then i'm useless...

the day was cold due to the rain.
i'm starting to remember how
freezing cold it was during winter...
before it comes i need to derive a plan
to esacpe the harsh weather...
hibernate?
i'm not a bear... and i'll probably
have a huge terrible headache when i wake
up from all that sleep...
wear more thicker clothes?
there's only so much you can wear.
and i fear looking like the elephant man...
tell the weather to heat up a little?
i dun think the weather would listen to me,
considering i insulted the weather the
other day because i was soaked from
head to toe by the heavy downpour.
(i mean, could you blame me?!)
hmmm.... how about...
begging my mum to allow me to go back
to singapore during my winter break?
sounds like a better plan... you think?
well i guess this way i dun hafta
bathe with hot water all the time. :)



hey dear2, remember the strawberry chocolate
with the "kawaii" design on the package we used
to buy at P.S. 7eleven? well i managed to get them
here at the asian grocery store.
but the package is a little different from the ones
back home. see... the little 2 "kawaii" characters
are not found on the front of the box.
only one of them is located at the back of the box.
but anyhow, i cant wait to eat the little
"well-made" chocolates. :)
it reminds me of you.
it reminds me of the times we went to X-square
and play TOPSPIN and SHREK on X-box...
it reminds me of how we steals kisses while playing.
the good old days...
i miss you terribly.
you are a man of few words,
but with all the right ones.
"dont cry... u can only cry when ur with me...
so i can wipe ur tears away.. ok..?"
you are definitely the one for me...

i'm a little pissed with the whole phone line issue.
blame it on bad luck?
or the inefficient people in ARROW?
watever the reason, the earliest it'll be
up is on monday.
furious if it gets delayed again...
speechless if the phone line's permenantly spoilt...


::pic of lipei playing the guitar on the second floor.
i just love my apartment!

you mean the world to me

hi, my name is dylan,
and i'm a alco..ho..li..

i wonder which is worse?
waking up to a glass of rum and coke?
or having it with an empty stomach?
i was drinking rum and coke the whole day...
and drank sake before turning in... (really cheap sake i must add)
it's a good thing i wasnt feeling dizzy watsoever...
no worries, i'm not on my way to AA.
it's just a "fling"... me and my precious rum...

my second day in melbourne has been quite alright.
expecting the worst.
but it turned out fine.
i love my apartment.
spacious, windy, bright, great view...
i could never ask for more.
close to calling home.


::lipei and i::

my dear friend,
my dear flower-looking friend...
it's great to see you again.
it great to see you in love.
i'm happy for you.
and i know you are happy that i have someone too.
let's make this year a great one,
even though it might not be the same
without "Queen of Vulgarities" here.


you are my everything.
since you came into my life,
i long for you.
i think of you.
i dream of you.
i love you.
talking to you and reading about you
makes me go on just a little further...
i cannot imagine life without you being
there for me, without you waiting for me.
i will come back to you.
i will run to you.
i will say this to you.
i will risk watever i have just to be with you.
it doesnt mean anything without you here with me,
and i could try to justify, but i still need you here with me...
so here i stress yet again,
wait for me dear2.
i love you and will never hurt you.
i wana be with you for the rest of my life.
i may be a dumb blonde...
but i know one thing's for sure,
you are my one and only....
i miss you terribly.

cant wait to have my phone line up...
cant wait to talk to you....
and hoped you like the grand tour
around my room.

older but not any wiser

everyone remembers me...

::pic of my durian cake my family got for me::
as i have mentioned before, birthdays, to me,
used to be an important day...
a day i celebrate my coming to this world...
a day i thank God for my existent...

last year's birthday was horrible...
i had to spent it alone in melbourne.
a day i feared coming...
a day i couldn't quite call a celebration.

so as not to disappoint, i didn't pay much attention to this year's birthday
despite being able to celebrate it back home.
my departure to melbourne seemed to have occupied most of my thoughts.




::pics of clement, alan, kenny and i::

however, on the eve of my birthday, kenny, clement and alan were so sweet
to organise a dinner for me. i thank them for that, and the present too.
fauzi was so sweet to bake me a chocolate cake, which btw, was one of
the best chocolate cakes i've eaten, and a present i so adore.
at the stroke of midnight, messages kept pouring in.
and i was shock to receive some unexpected msgs...
from people i never thought would remember my birthday.
haa, even my dad sent me an sms.
i was touched... close to tears if i may add...
was murphy's law at work?
maybe God's telling me that some things are worth remembering,,,,
the day i celebrate my coming to this world...
the day i thank God for my existent...


my bags are pack but i'm not ready to go...
anxiety freezes the brain...
sadness overwhelms the heart...
if i was a little kid, i could cry and things might turn for the better.
but i am all grown up (at least that's wat i wana believe), i could cry and things would remain if not worsen.
i hate time, for there is never enough time for anything.
never had the chance to meet everyone while i'm back,
nor spent enough time with some of my close friends.

to rain:

"hey auntie! hee~ sorry for not spending enough time with you.
i feel bad and i wish i could make it up to you...
i'll try to hang with you more often when i'm back year end.
in the mean time, you take good care of yourself.
and enjoy your summer camp!!!!!
take lots of pictures and show it to me when i get back!
and dun forget this best friend (and blondie) of yours! :)
will miss you terribly! hugz...
thanks for your present too! you shouldn't have spent so
much on it..."

to gaz:

"hey man, really sorry that i only manage to catch up with you
a couple of times. i didn't even have dinner with you
even though i kinda promised... my apologies...
please take good care of yourself, and i hope to catch up
with you when i get back. hopefully you might have the chance to
visit me in melbourne this year. :) "

these are some pics i took while i'm back

wasnt really active in taking pics this time round,
hence the lack of good pics.


::pic of my bro and charlotte on their wedding day.
can you see the HELLO KITTY toy in front of the car? hee~::


::pic of jingyi and i at CARTEL::


::pic of grace and i at CARTEL::


::adam and i at QUEENSWAY::


::huishan and i doing the "act-cute" taiwanese pose::


::adam and i at the bus stop in front of P.S. waiting for midnight bus::


::adam and i in pink!!!::

hope to post the next entry as soon as i can.
by then i should be in melbourne....

i hate farewells.....

summer of love...

summer is coming to an end...

here i am, lying on my bed, in the comfort of my real home,
listening to the sounds of death cab for cutie as i type this...
3 months swiftly passes me by and i'm trying to get a grip of myself...
i'm shaking... i bit my lips as i lay on my back staring right at the "seagull"...
how long have you been with me mr. seagull? 5 years? maybe more?
why cant summer last that long? do i have to leave home already?
oh mr. seagull... do something...
my bags are unpack... and i'm in no hurry of getting it done...
would this coming year be the same as the last?
would i do as well as i did last year?
would i still be as strong as i used to?
would i miss everyone back home even more?
would i encounter any more apartment probs?
so much uncertainty...
i'm not as strong as i seem to be...
i'm not compose...
i don't function well when i panick...

2 years ago, i chose my path...
but i'm starting to wonder if all's for the better...
wait... shouldnt i be happy that i'm pursuing my dreams?
not many people have the opportunity to do the same...
so i shouldnt be doubting... afterall it's wat i want...
but couldnt there be a much simpler way?
is it posssible to pursue my dreams without ever leaving?

my brother got married on the 4th of dec, a month after i came back.
the wedding was beautiful...
smiles on my parent's and everyone's faces, laughters in the background,
flashes of lights clicking, sights of familiar long lost faces,
tears of joy were shed...
it was beyond perfection... love truely was in the air... love in all its form and glory were present.
it is the closest i'll ever have to a wedding.... and i'm glad that it was THE wedding of a lifetime.

i came, i met you, and now i'm leaving...
wat lies ahead, we'll never know...
but wat we can do is to make things happen, make US happen.
i can assure you that it'll be a bumpy ride...
but like you said this to me, "we can go thru this tough time together"....
if we can just make it thru this 2 years, we will be there!
and like i always say, "it takes 2 butt cheeks to sit..." or "2 fingers to snap..."
i know we can do it, that i can assure you with all my heart.
so dun give up on us...
cos this "dumb-blonde" guy here wana spend his life with you...

my birthday's around the corner...
but i haven't been thinking about it...
it was close to slipping away...
i guess i was so caught up with the whole leaving aspect of my life
that the most important day of my life didnt feel so... important...
maybe with the coming of age, it becomes less of a concern....
there are much more important things to deal with...
i think in 10 years time, the word "birthday" becomes non-existent...
or you find yourself having a sequel to your 28th birthday...

i could lay here all day, all night, debating half-empty or half-full....
but wat will never change is the fact that i'll be leaving on a jet plane
on the 22nd of feb... i'll miss my family terribly...
and i'll miss you too mr. seagull...
rest assure.

p.s. pictures speak a zillion words... i promise i'll put up pictures soon. :)