the devil in me

what has the future installed for me?

i simply cant comprehend the situation that i am in.
do i follow wat my heart tells me?
or be rational and let the mind do the thinking and decide?
the fire in me is slowly dying out.
i need a quick fix.
one that would put me right back on track,
because the devil in me is eating me up.
one little piece at a time.
if this persist, i'll not only lose my mind,
but i believe it will kill everything that i am,
and everything that i have,
and everything that i believe in.

i just wish everything was as easy as reading a manual and
following the directions accordingly.
i wish everything was foolproof,
wrapped entirely in bubble wrap,
and sealed with a quality stamp.
if there were any defects, simply send it back and get a full refund.
service should always be efficient.
never letting us wait till the cows come home.

the feelings i have now,
are filled with anger, disappointment and jealousy.
there is no room for anything else because
people do not TRY to understand me.
i've spoken, i've showed emotions.
but what do i get in return?
yes i'm nice. yes i'm happy. yes i'm talented. yes i get whatever fuck i want.
i've heard them all before.
a simple respond like that wont do.
tell me something i dont know.
tell me something i need to know.
tell me something useful.
better yet, show me.

all i can do for now is wait.
wait is all i can do for now...