summer of love...

summer is coming to an end...

here i am, lying on my bed, in the comfort of my real home,
listening to the sounds of death cab for cutie as i type this...
3 months swiftly passes me by and i'm trying to get a grip of myself...
i'm shaking... i bit my lips as i lay on my back staring right at the "seagull"...
how long have you been with me mr. seagull? 5 years? maybe more?
why cant summer last that long? do i have to leave home already?
oh mr. seagull... do something...
my bags are unpack... and i'm in no hurry of getting it done...
would this coming year be the same as the last?
would i do as well as i did last year?
would i still be as strong as i used to?
would i miss everyone back home even more?
would i encounter any more apartment probs?
so much uncertainty...
i'm not as strong as i seem to be...
i'm not compose...
i don't function well when i panick...

2 years ago, i chose my path...
but i'm starting to wonder if all's for the better...
wait... shouldnt i be happy that i'm pursuing my dreams?
not many people have the opportunity to do the same...
so i shouldnt be doubting... afterall it's wat i want...
but couldnt there be a much simpler way?
is it posssible to pursue my dreams without ever leaving?

my brother got married on the 4th of dec, a month after i came back.
the wedding was beautiful...
smiles on my parent's and everyone's faces, laughters in the background,
flashes of lights clicking, sights of familiar long lost faces,
tears of joy were shed...
it was beyond perfection... love truely was in the air... love in all its form and glory were present.
it is the closest i'll ever have to a wedding.... and i'm glad that it was THE wedding of a lifetime.

i came, i met you, and now i'm leaving...
wat lies ahead, we'll never know...
but wat we can do is to make things happen, make US happen.
i can assure you that it'll be a bumpy ride...
but like you said this to me, "we can go thru this tough time together"....
if we can just make it thru this 2 years, we will be there!
and like i always say, "it takes 2 butt cheeks to sit..." or "2 fingers to snap..."
i know we can do it, that i can assure you with all my heart.
so dun give up on us...
cos this "dumb-blonde" guy here wana spend his life with you...

my birthday's around the corner...
but i haven't been thinking about it...
it was close to slipping away...
i guess i was so caught up with the whole leaving aspect of my life
that the most important day of my life didnt feel so... important...
maybe with the coming of age, it becomes less of a concern....
there are much more important things to deal with...
i think in 10 years time, the word "birthday" becomes non-existent...
or you find yourself having a sequel to your 28th birthday...

i could lay here all day, all night, debating half-empty or half-full....
but wat will never change is the fact that i'll be leaving on a jet plane
on the 22nd of feb... i'll miss my family terribly...
and i'll miss you too mr. seagull...
rest assure.

p.s. pictures speak a zillion words... i promise i'll put up pictures soon. :)