everyone remembers me...

::pic of my durian cake my family got for me::
as i have mentioned before, birthdays, to me,
used to be an important day...
a day i celebrate my coming to this world...
a day i thank God for my existent...

last year's birthday was horrible...
i had to spent it alone in melbourne.
a day i feared coming...
a day i couldn't quite call a celebration.

so as not to disappoint, i didn't pay much attention to this year's birthday
despite being able to celebrate it back home.
my departure to melbourne seemed to have occupied most of my thoughts.

::pics of clement, alan, kenny and i::

however, on the eve of my birthday, kenny, clement and alan were so sweet
to organise a dinner for me. i thank them for that, and the present too.
fauzi was so sweet to bake me a chocolate cake, which btw, was one of
the best chocolate cakes i've eaten, and a present i so adore.
at the stroke of midnight, messages kept pouring in.
and i was shock to receive some unexpected msgs...
from people i never thought would remember my birthday.
haa, even my dad sent me an sms.
i was touched... close to tears if i may add...
was murphy's law at work?
maybe God's telling me that some things are worth remembering,,,,
the day i celebrate my coming to this world...
the day i thank God for my existent...

my bags are pack but i'm not ready to go...
anxiety freezes the brain...
sadness overwhelms the heart...
if i was a little kid, i could cry and things might turn for the better.
but i am all grown up (at least that's wat i wana believe), i could cry and things would remain if not worsen.
i hate time, for there is never enough time for anything.
never had the chance to meet everyone while i'm back,
nor spent enough time with some of my close friends.

to rain:

"hey auntie! hee~ sorry for not spending enough time with you.
i feel bad and i wish i could make it up to you...
i'll try to hang with you more often when i'm back year end.
in the mean time, you take good care of yourself.
and enjoy your summer camp!!!!!
take lots of pictures and show it to me when i get back!
and dun forget this best friend (and blondie) of yours! :)
will miss you terribly! hugz...
thanks for your present too! you shouldn't have spent so
much on it..."

to gaz:

"hey man, really sorry that i only manage to catch up with you
a couple of times. i didn't even have dinner with you
even though i kinda promised... my apologies...
please take good care of yourself, and i hope to catch up
with you when i get back. hopefully you might have the chance to
visit me in melbourne this year. :) "