my declaration, sorries, and thanks.

my declaration

::pic of hyqel and i::
goals were made,
my mind was set,
a plane ride away,
to end it all.
actions were taken,
questions were answered,
doubts were cleared,
tears were shed.
the saga ends here,
and lessons were taught.
whatever the future brings,
is anyone's guess.
i have learnt not to
anticipate future unhappiness,
and to take one day at a time.
believe. faith. hope.
and most importantly, love.
the trip back was in a way, a success.
i'm glad that i'm able to smile again.
not smiling in denial.
not smiling my tears away.
but a genuine smile from the heart.
and yes,
i'll hold your hands, and place it on your heart.
i'll hold your hands, and stroll with you.
i'll hold your hands, and create endless memories.
"memories of you and me; of us."
this is my declaration:
i love you dear2.
we will make it.
wait for me,
cos i'll come back to you.
and though i'm not suppose to say it,
i miss you lots.



to someone:
i may not have put it in the nicest way possible...
but my intentions... my decision...
you have to understand.
i duno who to blame.
but wat is done, has been done.
time cannot be altered.
and we can only be responsible for our actions.
regret we may feel.
hurt we may inflict.
but wat is done, has been done.
i endured your nonsence.
and the wait was long.
but all i got in return was negligence.
you blew your chance.
and now you want it back.
but wat is done, cant be undone.
i wshed you had realised it earlier.
but you didnt.
and so my feelings for you have long gone.
friendship i do cherish.
the question lies within you.
is it all or nothing?
cos i have given my all to someone else.
i'm offering something much less.
but is it worth while to you?
i'm sorry to have hurt you.
i'm sorry for everything.
i'm hurt myself.
and i never wanted all this to happen.
but wat is done, has been done.
we have to stop living in denial.
thank you for the memories.
i'll cherish them for sure.


::polaroid pic of jenn, boshen, rain and i::

::polaroid of xianli, lipei and i::
during this rough time,
i wana thank all those who have left comments
on my blog and have showed their utmost care.
a big, gigantic thank you to jenn, boshen and rain for meeting
up with me and being there for me.
it means a lot and i appreciate your kind gesture.
to jenn:
"thanks jenn for everything. your good intentions
are greatly appreciated. thanks for sending me
off at the airport too... you sure are good at comforting me.
i treasure your comments. see you in june."
to boshen:
"thanks for your understanding. i didnt know that you knew...
but i hope the truth would not jeopardize our friendship.
thanks for sending me off as well. and yeah, see you in june."
to rain:
"yo! i hope my numbness didnt frightened you on the flight of stairs.
have a great time at summer camp. please be safe! i'll miss you terribly.
for the next time we meet, would be year end.
keep in touch always, for you mean to me more than you know. "
wana thank kenny too for taking time off
from his studying time to just hear me out.
to kenny:
"hey! study hard for your exams ya. dun study something else....
(you know wat). still cant believe i sat with you at orchard
and joined you in commenting on... (you know wat) take care
and hope to haf dinner with you and the gang when i return."
infinite thanks to lipei.
to lipei:
"you have been there for me throughout. no one, and i mean no one,
has given me as much care as you have given me. i wana
be there for you too. you dun hafta go thru it alone."
to gabrielle:
"thanks for taking time off to read my blog and to discover the unknown.
yeah, i have changed since JC eh... am i more matured? hee~ my JC life would
not have been that managable if not for you. hope to arrange something with
you and grace when i get back. in the mean time all the best in your studies."
and of cos to charlotte:
"it was definitely weird when you asked me those questions on the couch.
i didnt expect you to be so observant... and yet so concern of my well-being. that's not
to say it's a bad thing, cos i really am glad for all you have done for me."

dear2, i wana say i love you again.


::pic of melb city taken from my room balcony wif my V3i::
back in melbourne only means 1 thing...
i hafta rush for my sch work....
so much work, so little time.
i hope i do well...
i pray i can focus and get back on track.
cant wait for all this frenzy to end.

some pics i took with my V3i

::pic of jenn and i::


::pic of rain and i::


::pic of boshen and i::


::pic of kenny and i in the midst of observing....::


::pic of hyqel and i::


::pic of charotte and i in the car::


::pic of hyqel and i::


::pic taken in a cab::


where do i go from here?
i'm not sure.
but i'm definitely taking one day at a time.
and i just pray things would start going
right from now on...