melancholy of dylan

end of an era...

::pic taken on the train back to the city::

a new chapter in life...
before a begining,
there's always an end to something...
how much are we willing to let go of that?
wat if that 'something' means the world to you?
wat if that 'something' defines who you are?
wat if that 'something' is your source of life?
wat if that 'something' brings you happiness?
would you be willing to forego all that?
would you be willing to start from scratch?
so how much are you willing to let it all go?
a new chapter doesnt always hafta mean
something great is coming your way.
it just means that we hafta work harder
to achieve wat we may haf lost, or to
maintain whatever we already possess.
i would never have imagined life
being so complicated, so cruel,
so empty, so superficial, so hurtful,
so self-oriented, so unforgiven...
many would say that it's these challenges
that make life so much more interesting,
fullfilling, satisfying...
bullshit.
it doesnt hafta be.
why is it that when i try so hard to achieve something,
it just goes to waste...
nothing's really been appreciated.
i'm so sick of everything right now.
"jaded" is over-used.
"fucked up" isn't my style...
i'll just go with "ultra mega horrible'...

is it so hard to be with someone you love?!
i love you. you love me. period.
i cant understand why we cant be together.
the mind changes like the direction of the wind...
one minute i'm your soulmate,
the next i'm someone you wana hate.
who is to blame?
me, for trying to substain the relationship?
you, for feeling this way?
let's just blame the weather
so we can get it over and done wif.
i still love you.
and i dun understand why you need to
stop loving me when you still do.
i wish you would have me back,
so we can live our dreams again...
it doesnt hafta be this tough,
because it isn't to begin with.
pls take my hand again....
and place it on your heart...
cos i love an ass like you wif all my heart...
and i'm no fool in loving you....

this may very well be my
last year in melbourne.
it isnt a joke,
it isnt a prank.
but it's something that i've
considered for a long while.
june would be crucial,
meetings would be held,
my next move in life
would be determined then.
i'm no quitor,
i'm no loser,
i'm definitely not insane.
my plan is to continue doing what i love
back home in singapore.
i love design and would never
give that up. never!
i have spoken to a few friends,
and they have been very supportive.
even my mum told me that it's
no point doing something i love
when i'm not happy at all.
i'm not sure where this would lead me,
but i'm hoping in doing so, would allow me
to be happy doing wat i love.
i need you to know that i'm not doing this for you.
for once, i'm gona be selfish,
for once, i'm doing this for myself.
for once, i wana be happy doin wat i love.
i hope you'll understand why i'm doing this.
i really hope you do.
becos if you do, you would support me all the way
and help me through this transition.
no, i'm not gona rely on you.
no, i'm not gona be a burden to you.
but you know, it's always nice to have
someone i love to be there for me.

so far, my plans are either
continuing my graphic design degree in NTU's design school.
OR continuing graphic design in Laselle SIA,
and then go on to complete a degree course.
the good thing is i dun hafta start right from the first year.
nothing's been set, but i'm hoping everything pulls through.
it would be nice if any of you have any other suggestions.


::just me...::
"seems like yesterday, you were a part of me.
i used to stand so tall, i used to be so strong,
your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right,
unbreakable like nothing could go wrong.
now i cant breathe, no i cant sleep,
i'm barely hanging on.
here i am, once again, i'm torn into pieces...."

so...
would you be there receiving
me with opens arms?
would you be there with
a smile across your face?
would you be there to hold
me and not let me go?
would you be there whispering
these words "i'm glad you're back"
into my ears...